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Prologue to my Book "Review"

#1
#2
I think this is actually really good. I enjoy how this story is almost like a mixture of other stories all into one.
Positive comment: Good storyline, and leads to the reader wanting to know more of what happens in the story (aka more chapters).
Negative comment: I feel like there needed to be some more expansion of certain moments that occurred. So much would happen in just two sentences and it leads to the reader wanting to know more details about that one certain moment.

Overall, thanks for sharing and best of luck in expanding this story!
 
#3
Thank you Quartet, your feedback sure does mean a lot.
I will take both of your comments into meaning and adjust the prologue accordingly, and will keep the advice in mind while I continue to write the next chapters.

Thanks again for the great feedback!